Marian Rojas Estapé, psychiatrist: "Many couple crises are states of alertness in one of the partners, who is in that negative state of mind; you can't talk to them."

Many relationship crises are actually a reflection of a prolonged state of emotional alert in one of its members . This is according to psychiatrist Marian Rojas Estapé , who warns about the effects of living with a depleted mental battery, a phenomenon that can alter perception, block communication, and deteriorate the emotional bond without necessarily indicating a relationship problem.

During her shared appearance on the YouTube channel Aprendemos Juntos , Rojas Estapé explained that “many couple crises are states of alert in one of the partners, who has been in alert mode for years, months, or weeks. They're in that negative mode: irritable, you can't talk to them, they can't communicate, on top of that, everything hurts, they complain about everything.” According to the psychiatrist, this occurs when the body enters “survival mode” due to sustained stress and “the battery is completely depleted.”

Alert mode blocks emotional connection

To prevent this type of crisis, the author of Find Your Vitamin Person and How to Make Good Things Happen to You emphasizes the importance of knowing yourself. "When I know myself, I know what triggers my stressors , I know who I become, and what symptoms appear." In her personal case, she explains that stress manifests itself with oral inflammation, but each person reacts differently, often without being aware of it.

This lack of self-awareness not only affects physical and psychological health , but also prevents healthy relationships. "To be well with someone, you need to be well with yourself," he insists. Hence the need to identify both the factors that drain emotional energy and those that restore it, since constantly living on the edge deteriorates emotional bonds and exacerbates daily conflict.

Rojas Estapé maintains that many behaviors in relationships stem from unresolved traumatic experiences . "We have to identify our traumas , our wounds, where that way I sometimes feel hyperalert comes from." The author recounts clinical cases in which abandonment, infidelity, or rejection provoke misinterpretations of reality, disproportionate reactions, and a structural difficulty in establishing trust.

“Oxytocin saves us, love saves us, bonds save us,” she concludes. Faced with a world “intoxicated by cortisol,” marked by fear and threat, the psychiatrist argues that only through self-knowledge, understanding one's personal history, and openness to others is it possible to build healthy and restorative emotional relationships. “May we be a vitamin for them,” she proposes.